public speaking

Minutes before my presentation for Protein Toxins in Cell Biology class, the heavy curtain over the window blew open slightly as though guided by some benevolent hand to give me fresh air from the outside. Usually at this time my heart is racing and I feel adrenalin being dumped into my bloodstream by the spoonful. But I felt strangely calm. I thought of my friend Ryan all of the sudden, the words he had said to me the last time we spoke on the phone, which was the beginning of the term. I told him about this class in detail, how it was a discussion-based biology course that focused on the use of protein toxins as molecular scalpels to learn aspects of cell physiology. He was really good and passionate with biology back in high school, as I remember. Our conversation over the phone found him two thousand miles away and drunk and alone on his couch in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. He told me that night that I was doing the right thing, whatever path he envisioned me taking these days. That stuck with me. I thought about that before my presentation, and any trace of nervousness or self-consciousness vanished from my system as I took center stage.